Where I Land
by WatchTheQueenConquer
Summary: A collection of one-shots revolving around Beast Boy and Raven, each one based on a different emotion. Ratings and genres will vary!
1. Affection

__**A/N**: Welcome to my most recent creation! I've decided to delve further into my "Teen Titans" side, so this is what I've come up with for now. It's a series of one-shots, each revolving around a different type of emotion. If anyone has any suggestions or ideas that they would like to give, feel free to do so! So for now, here's the first one!

_**Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own the Teen Titans**  
><em>

_**Affection**  
><em>

_Synopsis: "Come on, you know you wouldn't mind having a pet! Especially one as cute as me," he wiggled an eyebrow, and Raven rolled her eyes. _

_**Rating: K**_

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><p>Raven had always been a tad annoyed watching Starfire cuddle her strange little pet. When Silkie had first become a member of the Titan's family, the empath had been somewhat repulsed. The last thing she wanted was a little maggot running around her home, eating its way through her furniture. The thought made her uncomfortable, and downright grossed her out.<p>

Over time, she had grown fonder of the creature. Despite that, she could not understand how Starfire could snuggle it, hold it as a child, or kiss it. It made Raven shudder.

On this particular afternoon, the empath sat on the couch, cross-legged, a book raised before her face. The alien princess sat at furthest possible edge of the couch, canoodling with her maggot. Robin flicked through the television channels, feet up on the coffee table, looking quite leisurely. Cyborg and Beast Boy were stationed in the kitchen, discussing possible lunch options. Raven was glad that they weren't quarreling—the combination of Starfire's obnoxious coos and Cyborg and Beast Boy's yells would have been too much for her to handle.

"Who's a good little Bumgorf? You are!" Starfire giggled, tickling Silkie's stomach. The creature writhed with happiness.

The sounds and coos continued.

Raven scowled into her book. Lowering it slightly, was able to glower at Starfire, who was now cradling Silkie like a baby. He looked as though he were beginning to fall asleep. Raven watched as Starfire gazed down at him lovingly. The look in Starfire's eyes was something so pure that Raven had to mentally forgive the girl for all of the annoying sounds she had endured. She could never be _upset_ with her, simply annoyed.

Beast Boy and Cyborg had made their way closer to the couch, each holding a plate with a custom made sandwich atop.

"He's kind of cute when he's asleep, don't y'all think?" Cyborg pointed out, leaning on the couch, tearing into his lunch rabidly. Starfire smiled, brimming with happiness at the compliment.

"Like the most perfect thing in the world," Raven deadpanned, her gaze back on her book.

Starfire frowned. "I happen think he is quite precious…"

Beast Boy laughed. "Aww Raven's just jealous cause she doesn't have a pet to snuggle with!"

The book fell from Raven's hands and she threw Beast Boy a glare that should have sent him running. Only he didn't. He stood there, grinning. Cyborg looked like he was trying to suppress laughter. Starfire stifled a giggle as well. Raven opted to be the bigger person, ignoring his comment. She lifted the book, eyes picking up the last sentence she had read, and she began to read again.

Suddenly, Raven felt some kind of small, yet warm force settle onto her lap. She glanced down. There sat a small, green kitten, staring up at her, mewing gently. Beast Boy had shifted and was now, nuzzling Raven's arm, purring. The empath blushed at the brief contact between skin and fur.

Cyborg leaned over Raven's shoulder, grinning. He was now holding Beast Boy's plate of food. "Aww Rae, I think he likes you!"

Robin, who had been silent up until this point, had glanced over given a short chuckle. Starfire beamed.

Raven's blush only grew deeper, and she instinctively pushed the kitten off her lap. He gave a short, sad little 'meow' as he gazed up at her. Raven locked eyes with him and gave a desperate sort of frown. He shifted back into his human form, and Beast Boy was now partially dangling off of the side of the couch.

"Come on, you know you wouldn't mind having a pet! Especially one as cute as me," he wiggled an eyebrow. Raven rolled her eyes.

"We're done here." She said, quite simply.

With these words, the entire ordeal was over. Starfire, a bit saddened that the excitement had died down, left to bring Silkie to her room. Cyborg needed to go pick up some kind of spare part from across town, and Robin turned off the television and departed to the training room.

It took Raven a few extra moments to notice that the room had gone silent. She looked up from her book and glanced around. A small smile played on her lips, but she hesitated when her ears detected a soft breathing sound. She craned her head to the left, and the small being beside her had nearly made her jump. Beast Boy had once again taken the form of the kitten and was now curled up, fast asleep, beside her.

As hard as she tried not to, she couldn't help but smile, no matter how small. She lowered the book to her lap and reached for the kitten. Her fingers caught the fur along his neck, and she began to massage it gently. Beast Boy gave a low purr and tilted his neck in his sleep. Raven extended her fingers, covering more area behind his neck. She circled until she was under his chin, and Beast Boy tipped to side, still asleep. How innocent he seemed! She had to admit he was quite cute. She blushed. _In this form_. There, that was more like her.

Beast Boy stirred slightly, and Raven's fingers hesitated. He lifted his head to look at her, gave a short 'mew' and proceeded to crawl up onto her lap. She removed the book, giving him some space to sit. He nuzzled her stomach in gratitude, curled up into a ball, and dozed off again, Raven's hands stroking his fur once again. The feeling of the warm creature on her skin stirred something inside of Raven that she had never quite felt before. But she _enjoyed_ it. She enjoyed the sensation of him, purring and cuddling up close to her with utmost affection.

So _this _was the sensation Starfire experienced with Silkie.

Raven sighed.

A tiny smile still on her face, she lifted the book again and read, kitten still fast asleep on her lap, for the remainder of the afternoon.

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><p>Not my finest work, but it's simple enough to get things taking off. Perhaps?<p> 


	2. Awe

_**Rating: **__T, for thematic material_

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><p><em><strong>Awe<strong>_

She had fallen asleep hours ago. He remains both awake and alone, unable to drift off into slumber. Even in the darkness of her room, he watches her chest rise and fall with every breath. Her lips are slightly parted, and she gives a sigh with each outtake of air. Her violet air is splayed across the pillow, like paint on a canvas. Her eyelids are closed, and her eyebrows are creased with sleep. He can see the outline her curvaceous figure beneath the sheets, her feminine assets accentuated with the thin sheets wrapped tightly around her. He studies the configuration of her face, every angle and soft curve. He longs to touch her, but fears that he will wake her up. Asleep, she is a porcelain doll he fears he will shatter.

He reaches out to touch the tips of her hair. It's softer than he had recalled. The texture is surely one of the most wonderful things he has ever felt, second only to her pale skin. She adjusts her position in sleep only slightly, and he fears he has woken her. When her movements die down again, he lets out a sigh of relief. She has turned—her face is more visible to him now. She is now easier to study. Her eyebrows have relaxed, and she has become more peaceful. A breathe catches in his throat, as he gazes at her in awe.

His mind wanders to his newly established connection with her. Their first time together had been nothing short of breathtaking. He'd always been told that his first sexual experience would be anything but good. But it wasn't. It was as perfect as any first time could be. He recalls the experience, the feeling of the girl beneath him, gazing up at him as he hovered over her. Her eyes, wide with fear, were soothed with the sensation of his hands taking hold of hers, comforting her. He recalls slipping into her, as gently as he possibly could. He remembers the feeling of her hands on his back once more, her nails running across the surface of his skin. He is able to detect the roaring feeling in the pit of his stomach, wanting nothing but her. He remembers her own urges, her desire to be at one with him, and how patient he had been with her, following her pace, waiting for her approval. It was all for her. Everything he had done was done so as to please her. And fortunately, he had been pleased in the process.

The thoughts send shivers through him. He smiles at the girl, fully aware that she cannot see the gesture. He wants to be one with her again, and again, and again. But he knows there is more to them than that.

He sighs, letting his fingers toy with her hair again. His index finger and thumb play with the tips, twirling it.

Although his mind is thinking about their new physical connection, he understands that they share an emotional one as well, one that has been there for years now: they are both damaged. They both harbor their own inner demons—literally, in her sense. He has a beast inside of him that is always there, lingering, but is something he has, for the most part, learned to control. He understands her now. He knows the emotional bond that they share. She must know it too. He contemplates his relationship with her. The last thing he wants to do is hurt her, or frighten her. He will do anything for her. He wants to spend the rest of his life by her side. But he understands that if her desire is to leave him, he will set her free—_anything_ to make her happy.

The moonlight is slipping through the window, brighter than he has ever seen it. It casts shadows upon her face that cause her to look more radiant than usual. Something catches in his throat, and he understands the depth of emotion that he feels for her. He brings a hand to her shoulder and runs it down her arm. The rustling of the sheets tells him that she is adjusting her position again. Subconsciously, she settles on the same position, still facing him. He sighs and smiles as he had done before.

Except this time, her eyelids open, revealing her deep amethyst pools.

He smiles, and this time, she can see it.

She reaches out and touches his green skin—something he had once been so ashamed of. She had told him, right before they had made love for the first time, that the she found the skin tone to be beautiful. He would never forget the way she'd said it, her lips playing with that word: _beautiful_. He has never been told this before. The word is unfamiliar. It continues to ring in his ears. It causes the creature, burrowed low in his being, to purr with a sort of primal desire.

He turns his head, catching her fingers with his lips. He kissed each one gingerly, and she smiled. She shifts closer to him, burrowing her face in the crook of his neck. She lifts her head slightly and places a few kisses alonghis jaw line. He feels as though the pit of his stomach has caught fire. And he loves it. He circles her with his arms, ensuring that she stays close to him.

He is overwhelmed with the desire to _protect_ her. He wants her to know that she is his everything. He wants her to never leave his side, wants her to lie beside him, in this bed that they share, for a good long time. He wants to spend his evenings memorizing the architecture of her face. He wants to go about his days, his hand clasped with hers. He feels a sort of pain—how much closer can she be? How much more can he expect from her? There is a sort of hunger for her, stirring in his core. The thought bothers him. It's more than he can handle. And he hopes that she understands.

In the silence between them, nothing is strained. There is no inept tension in the air. It is peaceful. Despite all that has happened, despite their past tremors and their previously rocky relationship, none of it matters. It is almost as if they are two new people. In a way, they are: both are ready to forget and start over, and have started doing so in the meantime. It is a moment of simplicity, as they lay in her bed, holding each other close. Simple, yet filled with a heavy promise: the promise of happiness—a promise that a future, filled with such beautiful things, may exist; the promise that life is more beautiful than they allow themselves to believe.

No words are exchanged. None are needed. He feels her grip on him loosening, and he knows she is slipping back into sleep. He himself is afraid to sleep—afraid that she will have fled when he awakes. But he knows he must trust her. He must have faith in the relationship that has developed between them. And he must learn to love without fear.

He kisses her forehead one more time, and his lips linger on her skin for a few moments, before sleep overtakes them both for the night.


	3. Curiosity

**A/N: **Thanks so much for the reviews! I appreciate those of you following this story, and I just really hope that I can continue to please! Once again, feel free to message me any suggestions you may have. Much appreciated!

_**Rating: K+**_

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><p><em><strong>Curiosity<strong>_

He was there, always there, watching her.

It seemed to have become a new hobby of his to watch her meditate. Over the past week, he'd become her shadow. Wherever she was—be it the common room, the roof, on the table—he was there, somewhere. Her eyes were always closed, so she never actually saw him: she could sense him. She could feel his aura radiating from another part of the room. He never spoke. He just _sat_ there. She wanted to know what he was doing. She wanted to know why he was always there, listening to the hum of her breathe, to her droning refrain: _Azarath, Metrion, Zinthos…_but she never asked. As far as she knew, he had no idea she was aware of his presence. But he never said anything. He never asked to join in, or told her she was creepy…he was just _there_.

Oh Azar, did it frustrate her.

In meditation, her thoughts, usually cleared and collected, were now filled with possible images of him, tiptoeing around her, crouching behind the couch, keeping his distance. Her mind was clouded with possible scenarios. Was he planning some kind of prank on her? She wouldn't doubt it.

But she was determined find out.

She had awoken early one Sunday morning, fully prepared to catch him in the act. She'd put on her cape and left her room, reappearing on the rooftop. The sun was hesitantly poking out from beyond the waking city. The morning air was brisk, yet refreshing on her skin. She levitated herself up a good foot above the ground and took a cross-legged position in midair. She closed her eyes and let out a soft sigh. Arching her back, she sat upright, and lifted her arms up. Releasing her breathe through her nostrils, she began to chant.

"_Azarath…metrion…zinthos…_

_Azarath…metrion…zinthos…_

_Azarath…metrion…zinthos…"_

Deep in her meditation, she searched for him. Time passed on, yet she was still alone. Perhaps she would remain alone—perhaps she had only imagined him there all along. Perhaps the boy who she had deemed synonymous with the word 'annoying' had shown as much interest in her as she had believed. Raven sighed and her chant ceased. She stared out at the horizon and sighed yet again. Part of her was a bit disappointed—she'd wanted the satisfaction of catching him off guard, to scold him for being so secretive, for plotting whatever he was plotting.

She stopped. Was she saddened by this? She scowled, to no one in particular. She refused to let that be the case. If he had any intention of pulling a fast one on her, she would make sure he was sorry. Her mind wandered to her incantation again. She proceeded to continue her meditation again. She'd been out there for half hour now, lost in her own personal world.

_Azarath…metrion…zinthos…_

_Azarath…metrion…zinthos…_

Something stopped her once again.

She was no longer alone.

He was there, on the roof, close by. He gave no noticeable sound, but she could _feel _him. She continued:

_Azarath…metrion…zinthos… _

He moved closer.

_Azarath…metrion…zinthos…_

Closer still.

_Azarath…metrion…zinthos…_

This was closest he'd ever come to her. She knew he was just a couple feet away. Was he making any attempt to hide this time?

"Beast Boy, I know you're there," she practically burst. She lifted an eyelid, making eye contact with the boy, who was crouching on the ground.

He yelped, and his green skin colored deeply. He stumbled backwards, falling onto his back. Raven stretched her legs out and lowered her body, so she was now fully standing on the ground. She placed her hands on her hips, frowning down at him. He shook his head, and propped himself up on his elbows.

"Uh…morning, Rae!"

She shuddered at the nickname.

"Beast Boy, what are you doing here?" she leaned down towards her teammate, internally smirking at the shade of embarrassment upon his face. "I know you've been watching me, and it needs to stop. I don't know what you're trying to pull here but I refuse to be a player in on your practical jokes." Her chest was heaving now, and her cheeks were flushed, as though she'd been preparing this tirade for ages.

He stared up at her, unable to speak. "Um, well I…I, uh…"

She glared at him. "I know you've been watching me, and it's frustrating me. I'm not as stupid as you think."

Beast Boy pushed himself up off the ground, his legs gaining the strength to do so. He stepped closer towards the half-demon.

"Whoa, whoa…Raven…what? Do you honestly think that _I _think you're…stupid?" His face was filled with incredulity. Raven, uncomfortable with his gaze, looked away. She hadn't meant to start up this kind of conversation with him. Beast Boy moved closer to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. She shuddered at the touch, but made no effort to push it off.

"Raven, 'stupid' is the last word I'd ever use to describe you. You're the smartest person I know!"

She finally met his eyes. They were honest and pleading, hoping she'd believe him. Hers were filled with a sort of frustration, bottled up over the past week. It was a reaction to her outburst. The notion of him watching her, analyzing her, was ridiculously heavy upon her, and his reasons, still unknown, bugged her.

In response to her silence, he pressed on: "Listen Raven, this isn't some sort of joke. I'm sorry if that's what it seemed like—" he stopped. "Wait, how long did you know-?"

"Since the first time you did it."

Beast Boy's new blush was vast, comfortably sitting upon his face.

"Why do you keep watching me meditate?" she questioned him, curiously. Watching him grow redder by the second, stammer and stumble over his words, was stirring a great excitement deep within her. She loved the idea of her pulling a fast one on him for a change. A sly grin yearned to creep upon her fast, but she controlled it as best she could.

"Well, uh, I guess I just, uh—"

"Did you honestly think I wasn't going to know? Beast Boy, I can _feel_ you watching me…"

Beast Boy's face was positively on fire by this point. With each word, Raven stepped forward, completely overwhelming him.

"Okay, okay!" he burst out, raising his arms up before him. He sighed. "I was just…curious."

Raven thought for a moment. "Since when are you curious about anything that _doesn't _have to do with video games?"

He chortled. "Good one, Rae." His serious disposition returned when he saw her new frown. "Alright, sorry…I mean, it's something you do every day, right? I thought maybe I would try to…see what all the hype is about…" it was a statement, but his inflections shaped it into a question. Raven raised an eyebrow.

"I just thought maybe it'd…give me a reason to talk to you. Because, I always _want _to, Raven—I…really, really enjoy talking to you."

So he was curious. The sincerity in Beast Boy's voice was enough to cause Raven's cheeks to turn a shade of pink. She pulled up her hood to hide her blush from him. This hadn't been part of the plan. She had intended this conversation to end with her tossing him into the ocean, not blushing like a schoolgirl. His voice had such an overwhelming touch of honesty, doubled with a sort of aching sweetness that she was unable to handle her already unstable emotions. She was positive that some of her powers would release themselves upon him, and stepped a couple feet away to be safe.

"Why?" she asked, unable to look at him.

He kicked at the ground. His uniform shimmered, the rising sun reflecting upon it. "Don't ask me. The heart wants what the heart wants." His voice had become much steadier, much more confident. Raven turned to him, eyes wide. He was smiling at her. His face shone with an unusual brightness. Now that his thoughts were out in the open, his demeanor had become much cheerier. She hesitated, unsure about how to go about this subject—where was this leading? Hearts? Desires? What was he implying here?

"It's a curious thing," he continued, "the heart."

Raven had absolutely no idea how to respond to this. The fact that Beast Boy was categorizing her as something his heart had some kind of strange desire for was insanity to her ears. He grinned at her expression. She must have looked quite peculiar, attempting to hide beneath her clothing. Her face was burning. No, the conversation was _not _meant to go here.

He was silent for a moment, looking out onto the horizon. She dared a glance at his face. Despite the fact that her own mind was racing, trying to decipher him as though he were some kind of riddle, he seemed quite at ease. His face was peaceful, as though he had no care in the world. Raven frowned: there really _was _no hidden agenda. He was truly interested in her routine, and she succeeded in prying the answer out of him. So where was the sneaky satisfaction she desired? It had been replaced, by a new, _unusual _satisfaction—something that she couldn't comprehend, but did not plan on pursuing at the moment. The only thing she wanted was to make it through this conversation without her powers destroying the tower in the heat of her body temperature.

"So…" he looked at her, another small blush settling comfortable on his face, "mind if I join you?"


	4. Anger

**A/N:** Hello readers! A couple things. Firstly, I can't say that I really like what I've done here. I don't think I executed it as well as I had hoped. But I guess with anger, there comes some confusion, so hopefully that can compensate. Eh, not quite. Second, I like to think that this takes place in the near future. Hopefully, you enjoy!

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><p><em><strong>Anger<strong>_

"Honestly, Beast Boy, why do you have to be so annoying?"

"Well, why do you have to be so mean?"

"_I'm _mean because _you're _annoying!"

Raven's comment shut Beast Boy up immediately. Her accusatory tone left a chill hanging in the air around them.

"Maybe I wouldn't be so annoying if you weren't so hard to talk to," he muttered.

"You don't _have_ to talk to me, you know," she hissed.

Beast Boy's nostrils flared. "Honestly, Raven I don't know what your deal is. I try so hard to be nice to you, make you smile for once but nothing is ever good enough." His eyes grew softer now, and he took a few steps closer to her. He put his hands on her shoulder and began to shake her, very gently. "What else can I do, Raven? I just want us to be on good terms. I'm not asking you to…to," he searched for the right words, "…_love_ me." The word made him cringe. "I mean, is it so much to ask? Is a decent relationship impossible to get with you? I'm sorry I'm annoying, I'm sorry you can't stand me, but we can at least _try _to get along?"

Raven was speechless. She had absolutely nothing to say. She backed away from him slowly, attempting to break free of this spell he had seemed to have cast upon her. He took a few steps backwards, attempting to end the conversation: "I'm sorry I can't be Robin for you." His spoke, traces of venom laced in his words.. It tumbled out as a whisper, but hit her as though he was screaming at the top of his lungs, cursing her. It nearly knocked the wind out of her.

Anger-that was her first reaction, and she acted upon it. She felt a low blow in her stomach. With a growl, she leapt towards him, and pinned him up against the wall.

"Stop that! Don't say that to me, ever again!" she snarled, the sound of her powers coursing through her veins ringing in her ears. "What I have with Robin is _none_ of your concern!" Through her words sounded harsh and unforgiving, her eyes, threatening with tears, begged him to take back the words. She wanted the thought out of her head—the thought that he would compare himself to the Boy Wonder. Beast Boy was completely caught off guard, his eyes wide. But he showed no immediate reaction. He endured her words, although unsure as to where they were going. She loosened her grip on his shoulders, but would not remove her fingers, as if afraid she would lose him forever.

She continued, though her voice had softened noticeably: "It shouldn't matter. What I have with Robin is…not what I have with you."

Beast Boy's expression was still unreadable. It was a mix between shock, satisfaction, and sadness. It was completely different than anything she'd ever seen on his face before.

Her fingers tightened their grip around his arms. "Robin is the older brother I never had. He understands me. He doesn't need to shove jokes down my throat in order to get me to like him."

Beast Boy's eyes left her face, and his eyes lingered on the ground beside her feet.

"Look at me, Garfield." She snapped at him. The sound of his real name, ringing through the almost empty hallway, forced his eyes to snap back up and latch onto her face. He could still hear the anger in her voice. Surely he had stirred something peculiar inside of the half demon with his comment. Exactly _what _remained a mystery—but then again, Raven herself was a mystery to him.

"Are you jealous of that? Is _that _the kind of friendship you want with me?"

His eyes darted away and he licked his lips swiftly. "No," he whispered, trying to escape her grip.

"Then what is it? What do you want from me?"

He gave a low growl and broke free of her grasp. "Nothing, Raven, this shouldn't have gone this far." He proceeded to step down the hallway, but she cut him short, reaching for his wrist again.

"This is what I mean when I talk about you being immature," she said softly. Her eyes were cold, boring into his.

He waited. "Maybe I am. Maybe I just don't know how to grow up. So I guess that _this _s perfectly acceptable."

She raised a quizzical eyebrow. "What are you talk—"

In a flurry of movement, he moved toward her, taking her face in his supple, gloved hands. In an act of what was surely insanity, he pressed his lips to Raven's. She gasped into his face, shocked. He kissed her; his hands, larger than she had thought, kept her face aligned with him. His eyes were closed, like the way she'd seen in those terrible romance films, and his head tilted slightly to take in more of her.

Raven thought she was asleep. How was this happening? Hadn't they just been arguing? She was sure that their fight would have escalated into something more…but nothing of _this _kind. Her eyes were wide open, taking in his face, drinking in the moment. She felt his jagged tooth brush across her bottom lip and shivered. He moved his body closer to hers, and Raven felt her heartbeat increase. What…why…how was this happening? She felt a surge of her power and heard a crash from somewhere in the Tower.

She placed her hands on his chest, and he pulled her closer, eliminating any space between them. She did not fight. She did not flee. No…she analyzed.

It was his turn to be angry. In his kiss, he could feel the intensity of his anger, almost a sense of jealousy. He was angry with her, for never seeing him for more than a child. But how did he expect her to see him otherwise? He was angry that his heart would never have what it wanted. He was angry that he could never have a stable relationship with her—both of them were too broken. It would never work. He had known that. He accepted that cold, bitter truth long ago. And he used every last bit of his anger to kiss her, hard on the mouth, to let her know.

He pulled away for a briefly. "This is—what I—want," he said, stealing a few kisses in between his words. Raven remained motionless. She remained there, in his arms, her eyes wide. When he had satisfied his desire, he pulled away from her, slowly, his lips parting from hers painfully slowly. He looked into her eyes, and raised an eyebrow. Her forehead creased, and she stared at him, unresponsively. He closed his eyes for a moment, collecting his thoughts. He stepped back.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that."

She was speechless.

"Why aren't you pissed at me?" he asked. His anger had settled. The storm was over.

Raven said nothing. She released a light outtake of breathe.

"Come on, I know you probably want to punch me or something, go ahead."

She offered him silence yet again.

"Please, Raven, talk to me." He was begging.

"I didn't know, Beast Boy. I'm sorry." she finally whispered.

His forehead creased. 'What?"

Tears began to well up in her eyes, a punch of anger hitting her again. She was angry, but with herself. She would never be able to talk to him, to explain her feelings-she herself had no idea what they were. If she had tried to speak, tried to talk to him about this, the words would have been all wrong and jumbled, a long strew of language that would have made no sense. He wouldn't understand, and she didn't expect him to. But it would be all her fault. It was better to say nothing at all.

And she did exactly that. Instead, teary-eyed, she wheeled herself around, and walked down the hallway into her room, leaving him behind to watch as she did so.

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><p><strong>AN: **Shmehhhh :/


	5. Hope

**A/N:** WOW! I was not expecting positive feedback from that last time! I'm really loving those of you reviewing! The comments make me giggle and I'm so appreciative! So for this one, I happened to have the song _Tomorrow Will Be Kinder_ by the Secret Sisters on repeat, so this was heavily influenced by the song. A little snippet of the lyrics are in there too! You would do yourself a favor by **checking the song out**! It's just…gahhh! Anyways…this one is my darkest one yet, and I feel like it's going to be the darkest out of all of them. It's another one of those "mixed emotion" ones. .You'll find out why, I guess. Also, I'm letting you, the reader, decide on what kind of battle has happened before this. I didn't feel the need to go on, because what's important is the aftermath. So here goes nothing!

**Rating: T**

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><p><em><strong>Hope<strong>_

I cannot bring myself to leave my room—to wander the Tower which is, for the most part, now empty. To go out is to remember. And to remember is to hurt. I'm tired of hurting.

Despite how I try, I cannot find comfort. My books have no merit. Meditation will not work—my mind is too hazed. I cannot sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I'm haunted by those same images. The ones I yearn to forget—the ones of my three fallen comrades, lying on the ground, lifeless. I can still see their bodies, sprawled across the cold pavement, deader than dead. I can still see their last few emotions, lingering on their faces. I can see the pool of blood around them, trickling away. I can feel them being ripped away from me, from this world, forced to wander in the dark forever. I can see it, and it feels like daggers puncturing every inch of my body.

I smack my head, trying to shake the thoughts from it. This is not helping. This is not easing the pain. Nothing is making this bearable…

There is a soft knock at the door.

"Raven?"

It's him again. He stops by every day, at least once, to check on me. And he always brings food with him. I would probably starve to death if he didn't. But I never respond. I make a shuffling sound, to let him know that I'm here. But I cannot bring myself to talk to him.

"Alright, Rae, I brought some lunch by for you, it'll be out here when you want it."

I close her eyes as they begin to tear up. I can hear his feet back away from the door and down the hallway. When I am sure he is gone, I quickly open the door and levitate the food to me. This is the extent of my powers. In my emotional exhaustion, they have nearly been trained. When the other titans had fallen…I'd lost control. My powers had overwhelmed me. Our enemy had been defeated, once and for all. But I'd also caused much damage on the city. The context of the situation is already beginning to escape me…all I remember is death and destruction. All I remember is wanting nothing more than for it all to end—to wake up from a nightmare.

I glance at the food that Beast Boy has prepared for me. He's given me a plate of fresh fruit, a slice of honey wheat bread, and a cup of herbal tea. I lift the cup to my lips with unsteady hands and sip it. He has prepared it just the way I had once liked it. But in this moment, I taste nothing. I push the tray aside. He is trying to help. He is trying to return to normal. But I cannot go there with him. I cannot help feeling as though this is my fault, for some reason.

I am not well. I am hearing voices within my head that are not my own. I feel as though I've gone insane. I'm in a state where I can't feel anything other than remorse. I can't see beyond this grief. I don't know what is to become of me, or what is to become of Beast Boy. He is stronger than me now. It seems he can stand on his own. I cannot. And I can't see what he sees. I want to; I want to be as optimistic as him, I want to believe that I will be better. But it is so hard to _hope_. It is so hard to stay positive. I, of all people, should know this.

I _can't_ do it…

I must do something about this pain. I must end it all.

I know that in order to act upon this, I must leave my room. I will have to take that long walk. My mind plays with the idea of visiting my changeling companion once more. It might be nice to see him, but there are consequences. If he suspects anything, then I will have lost. If I play my cards right, conceal myself just enough, I can say goodbye without any complications.

With great force, I manage to take the dreaded step outside of my room. I drag my body down the hall to his room, where I reach out towards the door. My fingers hesitate to form a first, and I bite my lip. This may have been a bad choice. But I don't have time to change my mind.

"Raven…"

He is standing down the hallway. I turn to look at him. It's the first time in a week that I've laid eyes on him, and I am shocked. I am almost frightened to see him. An interaction with another being seems so foreign to me. I'm also a bit shocked at his appearance. He looks older. His hair has been tousled. His shoulders are slumped, and his eyes are hollow. In them, I can see pain, anger, sadness. But there is a gleam of something that is so different, though I cannot tell what.

"Beast Boy…" I murmur his name back to him, at a equally low volume.

He takes a moment before rushing towards me, ensnaring me in a hug. I don't protest. I let his arms wrap around me. I let him bury his face into my shoulder. I close my eyes and inhale his scent, that one that is so uniquely him. It is peaceful, and relaxing—like a form of anesthesia to numb my senses when the time comes. His fingers are latched onto the back of my head, keeping me close. We stand this way for a few minutes, wrapped up in each other. I am still dead on the inside. I still feel empty. I want to find solace in his embrace, but I am too fragile. It's almost as if I'm already gone.

He pulls away from me.

"I'm so…happy to see you," he says, eyes gleaming in the dank hallway.

I nod, looking into his eyes. "It's good to see you, too. Thank you for the food."

"Need anything?" he asks me, searching my eyes for a sign that I'm alright.

I shake my head. "I just…need to move around." He will take that.

And he does. He nods slowly. "Alright, Rae, you know I'm here for you if you need me." It sounds almost like warning in his voice.

I give the tiniest of smiles, simply to suffice his desire to see me healed, and I thank him. He enters his room and closes the door, and I'm alone once more. He must have been wandering, reliving his memories, trying to somehow bring them back. But he knows that he can't. He'll never have them again.

As I walk down the hallway, I feel a wave of cold that is surely not of this world. I begin to hear the voices in my head. It's as if the ghosts of my past are still in the tower, calling to me, searching for me. I can almost hear Robin's grunts, working out in the training room. I can hear Starfire, muffled behind her door, cuddling her pet that has disappeared altogether. I can hear Cyborg in the back of my mind, complaining about _something._ They are so close. They are just out of reach.

When I reach the common room, I am greeted with a heavy darkness that makes me dizzy. When I flick the lights on, everything looks normal. Nothing is out of place. Everything is orderly and neat, as they were the last time we had all met in here. But there is something heavy in the air, like a weight on my shoulders. It makes it difficult to proceed down the steps. My eyes want to see them all, sitting in a row on the couch—the complete set. I _want _to hear them arguing about pizza toppings, or video games, something: I need them back. I need to go back in time, and change things. I need to stop hurting. I want to be happy. I need them, all of them, back here.

Overcome by emotion, I begin to cry, softly at first, but they increase with volume. I stumble into the kitchen area. I must do this now. If I wait until my mind processes Beast Boy, still there in the Tower, I will be unable to continue. _Please, stop this_…

I swallow as I reach a cabinet, and I pull it open. Lying there before me are a couple of knives, sharpened and ready for action. With trembling hands, I reach in. My fingers brush the handle of one of them. Oh, how inviting it looks. One thrust, and I will be relieved. I will be with the rest of them, exiled from this world, forced to wander around oblivion forever. I lift it up. The light in the room shines across it. It is quite a beautiful weapon.

I am trembling now. My sighs are shaky, and my breathing is ragged. I hold it at a distance. _One stab, Raven, that's all it'll take. This pain will be over. Sleep…_

As I gaze at the blade, I hear voices in my head again. I can hear that of my father, urging me. He wants me dead. Hadn't that been his goal all along? Do I give him what he wants? But then, there is another voice in the back of my head, one that has just forced its way into my mind. It sounds a lot like the changeling, hidden away in his room. _Stop, Raven, don't do this! Don't leave me!_

The words resonate in my being, striking me like the knife I hold. I suddenly am not sure I can do this.

_I am not sure that I can leave him here alone._

"Raven, stop!" a voice roars from the newly opened doorway. My head rolls to the side, and my eyes land on him. He is panicked. He is shaking. Suddenly, in what seems to be a mere blink of my eyes, he is in front of me, trying to pry the knife from my hand. 'What are you doing?" he is doing his best to control his voice, but there is a layer of hysteria lying slightly beneath his mask. I fight him as best I can. I want to push him away, but I feel as though my powers have simple gone. I am out of practice. He knocks the knife to the floor, and grips my wrists.

"Let me go!" I snarl at him. He holds onto me. I'm thrashing around violently, trying to break free. Hot tears are spilling again. I'm trying not to make eye contact with him, but it's inevitable. I'm screaming at him now. "Stop, let me go Beast Boy!" My hands are trembling more than they ever were before. I feel myself sinking to the ground, trying to wrestle free of him. He is too strong, I can't win this battle. I am in hysterics now. At this point, I look at him. I know that my face is crazed: my hair is thrown around, my teeth are grit, and my eyes are wild with hysteria. I struggle with him for a few more moments.

"Why won't you let me go?" I sob, my voice breaking. I sound like a child. He just stares at me, a distinct sadness in his eyes. He is not angry with me. He understands. He does not want to punish me.

"I just want to keep you safe," he says quietly. There is a difference between safe and happy. He knows that keeping me happy at the moment is too big a task. He has to start smaller.

I no longer have any fight left within me. This internal flame has been quelled. I've given up on trying to stop him. My face is locked in a grimace, and my cheeks are hurting from crying. I fall into a slump on the ground, still clutching his hands. He crouches down beside me, and retracts a hand from my wrist, and runs it through my hair.

"I know it's hard Raven, I promise you… I know. But we'll get through this. You have to believe me, Rae, we need to be strong. They wouldn't want to see us like this. They didn't want to hurt us…" he is crying now too, trying to stay strong as he speaks. "Things will get better, Raven. We both know that. We need to have hope." He moves closer and I've fallen into his arms, crying into his uniform. He undoes my cape, and removes it from my body to hold me closer. "Raven, I'm not leaving you. I'm never leaving you. I'll be here for you, please believe me. We'll be alright…we'll be okay. It'll get better." He begins to stroke my hair. My body has now been hit with a siege of hiccups.

Through my fits of tears, I begin to lose consciousness, and I soon black out, then and there in his arms.

"_Tomorrow will be kinder,_

_It's true, I've seen it before;_

_A brighter day is coming my way,_

_Yes, tomorrow will be kinder."_

Beast Boy never mentions my incident ever again. But he does keep his promise—he never leaves. He's there for plenty of more years to come. He keeps an eye on me at all times. Sometimes at night, when I can't sleep, he ventures into my room, and into my bed. He lies beside me, holds me, and we fall asleep there. When I wake up, it is always to his smiling face. Every morning, he says the same thing: "You give me hope." It takes me months to comprehend that he is in love with me, and even more for me to consider that fact that I might just love him back.

We've set up several more teams, and continue to work together. We remember our fallen comrades. We acknowledge their deaths, but we keep our memories close in our hearts. We never take them for granted. He and I understand that life is filled with promises—to restart, to renew, to change. He and I have started this new life, have begun this new relationship, and have both been changed. We are older, and wiser. He doesn't realize the impact he has had on me. I don't think he realizes that he saved my life, when I was fragile enough to try and take it myself. I am alive because of him. His devotion to me, to making sure that I made a safe recovery, heals me faster than I could have ever imagined possible. And he has given me hope every day since them.

One morning, I decide to take initiative. I wake up before him, and lay there, waiting. When he finally opens his eyes, I whisper, before he can say anything: "Thank you for giving me hope."

* * *

><p><strong> AN: **This turned out MUCH longer than expected...but it had to be done. Thoughts? (:


	6. Desire

**A/N:** Hello there again, readers! Thanks so much for the feedback on the last one! _Deus Imperator_…as much as I would LOVE to write a multi-chapter story, I am so NOT good at coming up with ideas for decent, ones. I'll keep it in mind and start thinking about it…maybe something will catch on. (: But thanks so much for all of the love, everyone! Onto the next! This one is really light, more fun. The last few have been kind of dark, so I thought I'd throw something out there that wasn't somewhat depressing. It was SUPER hot today and so I threw this together in the middle of the heat wave.

Rating: K+/T for some...innuendo, I guess!

_**Desire**_

Beast Boy had always had some kind of fascination with Raven. From the day they'd met, he'd been curious about her; where did she come from? Why did she think the others would not like her? He'd wanted to know more about her. He wanted to know her likes, her dislikes, what made her tick, what she did in her free time, or what she liked in the opposite sex. He wanted to know how the inner mechanisms of her mind worked. Truth be told, he kind of enjoyed pushing her buttons, because it made her emote. Of course, it was always in an angry fashion, and it always directed towards him, but it was emoting nonetheless.

But this kind of attraction had taken place at a more youthful time—a time when his hormones hadn't quite overtaken him yet…

"I can't handle this heat!"

The afternoon was hot. The air conditioner, turned up at full blast, was losing its battle against the rising summer temperature. Inside of the Tower, the titans lolled around the common room. Robin had stretched himself out on the couch, his gloves, shoes and cape all removed. Starfire was stretched out beside him, fanning herself with some kind of homemade Tamaranian fan. Cyborg was peering into a small, electrical fan. Raven slouched in her seat on the couch, sipping a cold glass of water. Beast Boy had collapsed onto the ground, secretly watching her out of the corner of his eye.

He watched Raven's head tilt back slightly as she took a long sip of her drink. He could see the muscles in her throat working vehemently, pushing the refreshing liquid down. Her already short hair had been clipped back and tied up as best she could, exposing more of her neck. Her leotard was gone and replaced with a black tank top and a pair of denim shorts. As her lips released the glass, a few droplets of water dripped onto her, and ran down her cheek. She wiped the lone droplets with the back of her hand and stretched her long, elegant legs out in front of her, placing them on the table.

Beast Boy could not stop staring at her.

For the first time that he could recall, something was stirring deep inside of him. He'd accepted that he'd always had some kind of attraction to Raven—platonically, of course—but this was something completely knew. As he watched her make herself more comfortable on the couch, all he could think of was rising up from the ground, and bringing himself closer to her. He was overcome with images of himself, entwined with her. He wanted to touch her bare arms, run his hands down them. He envisioned himself gently touching her jawline, tracing her lips with his index finger…oh, how _badly _he wanted some kind of physical contact with her!

He swallowed, eyes still transfixed on her. He forced his eyes away from her when he felt a tingling sensation in the pit of his stomach. A blush settled upon his face. The last thing he wanted was to experience any of those…_changes_ right here in the open. Especially when they might involve Raven. Surely this was wrong!

Beast Boy placed his hands on his stomach, twiddling his thumbs. He needed some kind of distraction. Well, the ceiling sure looked pleasant today. The fan across the room seemed pretty loud. What was on TV?

"This heat…" Raven moaned from the couch. S

Beast Boy cursed silently.

She wiped a thin layer of sweat off the back of her neck. The green youth shivered.

He scooted himself further back, beyond the couch, where he would be unable to see her. Her appearance was too much of a burden on him. In this heat wave, he didn't need any excess heat to wash over him. He rolled onto his side. What exactly was happening? Some kind of primal desire deep within him suddenly wanted this girl, physically. It was an overwhelming sensation that he'd never experienced before—not even with Terra. The name, popping up in his head made him cringe. But this was so much more…he'd never imagined…_doing things_ with Terra. Yes, he'd thought perhaps he'd like kissing her, or hugging her…but the images in his head of Raven…of them passionately kissing, of her pulling him down onto some piece of furniture, or letting his hands explore her body…

His face turned a deep scarlet. _Stop it, stop it, __**stop it!**_

He could never let anyone that these thoughts were crossing his mind. Raven would personally sign his death certificate.

Beast Boy smacked himself and gave a low groan. He rolled onto his back, so he could see the back end of the couch within his field of vision. Suddenly, a figure popped up over it.

"You alright, down there?"

The changeling nearly yelped as he caught sight of the demoness, leaning over the back of the couch, peering down at him. Ringlets of her violet hair had fallen out of her loose ponytail, and were now dangling around her face. Her skin gleamed with a new, thin layer of sweat—or was that water she'd applied to herself to keep cool?—but Beast Boy was most distracted by the low-cut top that she was wearing. He struggled to not gape at the slight amount of cleavage before him. It wasn't anything extreme, but enough to let him know that she was…_developed._ She was a woman. Not some little girl who he lived with, or a pet he could play with on occasion, but a young woman, who, for some reason, had total and utter control over him. He blushed. The beast, burrowed deep inside of him, purred. He nearly choked, hoping that it wouldn't escape his lips.

Raven raised an eyebrow. "Uh, Beast Boy, are you okay?"

He licked his lips and stammered, unable to formulate a decent thought. The image of this female, hovering above him, was downright _torturous._

"Uh, it's just uh…_really_ hot!" At least some kind of words had managed to come out. The pitch of his voice skyrocketed halfway through his sentence, and he felt like completely idiotic.

Raven frowned. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What are you—"

Beast Boy squirmed, and hopped up onto his feet.

"I've uh, got to do the—the thing. You know, that, uh, I forgot to do…um, yeah!"

He sped off towards the door hurried down the hallway through his room, slamming the door shut behind him.

The Titans all watched him as he left, and glanced at each other curious.

Cyborg shrugged. "Guess that the heat makes us all a little crazy."


	7. Author's Note

Hey all!

This is a bit of an apology, for not updating in what is an extremely long time. The last month or so have school has been pretty hectic, more for me than most other kids in the school, and I've had very little time to write. I've had some inspirational strikes since the last time I've posted, so hopefully I can get a bunch of these down and update ASAP!, especially now that I'm finally done! Ah!

So keep an eye out for a new addition, probably sometime this week.

And thanks to all of you for reading these! It means a lot to me, to those of you how are reading/reviewing.

-C


	8. Confusion

_A/N: Uh. Wow. So it's been like 2 years since I've updated. Gotta say, this feels surreal. Life got really hard for a number of personal reasons, and school and all. But, I recently joined the Shingeki no Kyojin fandom and everyone knows that when you join a fandom you get the feels and get really creative and I went "Wow, I should go back and write stuff!"_

_Now, I'm in Italy at the moment. Well, for the next couple of months. So basically, anything that happens at this point will be scattered and done really late at night, when my brain needs English. So I'll hopefully be adding onto this and perhaps starting something new. We'll see._

_Ok, let's give this a try *cracks knuckles*_

_**Confusion**_

_"...there was something so impressive about this change…something she was utterly confused about. All she could think was "_How?" '__

"Ouch, Rae, that hurts!"

"Keep using that nickname and I'll make sure it does."

Beast Boy grimaced as she gently lowered him onto the couch, his bruises and cuts deeper than anticipated. Their previous battle had left him more scarred and beat up than usual, but it was certainly nothing that Raven's healing powers couldn't take care of with some time.

"How did this even happen?" Raven asked him, helping him lean onto his back.

"Well most of it was hand to hand combat…but stupid mistakes on my part took made it really bad." He pointed to his side in cringed. Raven was confused until he lifted part of his uniform up to reveal a large gash on his side. Her eyes widened.

"How did _that _happen?"

"Now _that _was my fault. I changed back into my human form before hitting the ground completely, you see. And I heard Robin say something and I got distracted and…fire hydrants suck, man."

Raven rolled her eyes. "So you flew into a fire hydrant?"

"More or less, yes."

The image of Beast Boy absolutely eating it on a fire hydrant was hysterical in her mind. Despite the fact that he was almost nineteen, he still was far from perfect. How she was so unfortunate enough to miss it, she'd never know. She gave a sideways smile, which he responded to with an equally enthusiastic smile. He attempted to kick his shoes off to attain as much comfort as possible.

"Ok, Beast Boy, I'm gonna need you to…" her next request made her blush, "…take your shirt off." She cleared her throat.

The changeling grinned and gave an amused sound.

"Oh I see…you've finally come around. It was only a matter of time."

Raven scowled, although her face had grown a tad pink. She hated being poked fun at—it was as simple as that. "I'm gonna let these wounds fester."

"No! I'm sorry…now would you please just fix me?"

"Fine. Shut up, though."

She helped him remove his shirt, exposing a stronger chest than she had expected. She was caught quite of guard. The past few years had done the boy some good—he was no longer a scrawny thing, but a well-built young man. His painful muttering was no longer the whimper it would have been three or four years ago, but a low, masculine growl. Realizing that she was completely checking him out, Raven quickly averted her eyes to the floor.

"Alright just…relax. Lay back and…I don't know. Just keep still and calm." He nodded and closed his eyes.

She began to treat the wound, initially cleansing it like any other person would. It would make it easier. Raven caught herself, darting her eyes up to Beast Boy's strong chest, and quickly feeling guilty for doing so. _He definitely did not look like that the last time I saw him with a shirt off. _She focused her gaze on the wound, feeling heat in her face. Finally utilizing her powers, she removed the washcloth and began to heal the wound on his side with her healing powers. A black aura appeared around her hand, but she did not actually touch the wound itself. It was deeper than expected, though—she would have to sit here for a bit.

She exhaled. This was terribly uncomfortable for her. She considered raising her hood to hide her embarrassment, but knew it would be a dead must have sat there for a few minutes, forcing her amethyst eyes to remain facing downwards at her feet.

"Oh hey, Raven?"

She nearly shuddered. "Yes?"

"There's also a one on my right thigh."

_Oh sweet Azar._

She was silent for a moment. "I'll get to it, don't worry." Raven was relieved that Beast Boy's eyes had remained closed, or else he would have seen an intense shade of scarlet suddenly appear upon her stoic face.

Taking a chance, her eyes flicked back to the green young man, and she caught her breath. _The muscles in his arms…when did they become so noticeable? Was his jawline always that strong? And those abs…when did those get there? _She felt her jaw lock and her spit catch in her throat. Physical appearance had never really held merit with her, but there was something so impressive about this change…something she was utterly confused about. All she could think was "_How?" _This was easily the most confused she had ever been in her entire life.

"How's it going?" he asked, his good arm now draped over his eyes like a mask.

"Good. Few more minutes, I think."

"This is gonna sound awkwad…but will you help me get my pants off when it's time?"

Raven wanted to die. "Sure thing."

Once the side wound had been healed, she bit her lip. Her heart began to flutter as she reached for his waist, and fumbled to undo the belt. She let it fall off the side of the couch.

"Please tell me you aren't wearing some ridiculous underwear, please." She asked, masking her feelings with humor.

He laughed. "Nope. Not this time—you got lucky."

Gritting her teeth, she lifted the fabric gently, trying to avoid direct contact with his skin. Her plan failed however, as her index finger gently grazed across his lower abdominal region, making him shudder. She retracted her hand immediately.

"Whoa, Rae, look at you go," he joked. She scowled at him, face beet red. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" he apologized, laughing. He attempted to help her remove the article of clothing, and she pulled the bottom half of his outfit down once they had gotten off his hips. She tugged them down his legs, but did not remove them completely.

"That gash is pretty bad too," she observed, finding any way to distract the conversation. She proceeded to take care of it the way she had done with the other. When she finally sat to heal it, she looked away from him.

"On a scale of 1 to 10…how awkward is this for you?"

"I'm pushing 12,"

"I'm sorry, Raven."

"Don't be, you're hurt…and besides, it's not you. I just…I'm not good with stuff like this."

"Well…hey, I kind of like the intimacy. We're kind of bonding!"

Raven's head turned to make eye contact, and she had almost forgotten that he was practically naked beside her and looked away again. She thought about the images of his strong thigh muscles already ingrained into her memory, which caused her to feel a heat in the lower region of her stomach. She groaned audibly as she felt her blush return. Something in Beast Boy's eyes made her realize that he had known every thought that had run through her head. He was grinning. She was ready to embrace death like an old friend. _I hate him so much, _she thought. They sat there for a few more minutes. He sighed. She dared not to glance at him, but the instant that the wound had healed, she bolted up. "Alright, you should be good for now," she practically snapped at him.

Face flustered, she pulled up her hood and hurried off, leaving Beast Boy on the couch half naked, clearly pleased with the encounter.

_How am I supposed to ever talk to him again knowing that I want to touch him? _She blushed profusely, practically sprinting down the hallway. she went straight to her room, locked the door, fell onto her bed and unwillingly the butterflies in her stomach run rampant for the rest of the night.

_Note: I had fun with this one :) _


	9. Fear

_A/N; This is my first M rated anything. I KNOW. Crazy. I'm so nervous about posting this because I just have no experience writing stuff like this, but we'll see how it goes._

_Rating: M, for sexual situations._

**Fear**

He creeps down the darkened hallway, tiptoeing as quietly as he can. The hour is not particularly late, although he feels that the moment is fragile. It seems as though any sudden sort of movement might cause him to hesitate, might force him to drop the confidence he has taken hours to summon. Much to his pleasure, he runs into no one as he slips quietly through the labyrinth of hallways. He makes a sudden turn and realizes that he has reached his destination. His eyes, vision strengthened in the black stillness thanks to his animal hybrid, catch sight of the door he has decided to approach. Swallowing, his pace softens. He draws nearer to the door. He hesitates for a moment, before reaching out. His hand forms a fist, and, ever so gently, he knocks. There is a slight shuffling sound from beyond. He releases a breath, relieved that he has not woken her.

The door does not take long to swoosh open. Despite his anxiety, he is almost calmed by the sight of her, standing before him. Her cape has been removed, and her shoes kicked off. Her belt is nowhere to be found, and she remains in her leotard, as though preparing for sleep.

She blinks several times, taking in his image. He can detect a sort of happiness resonating within her being, although it is muted.

"Gar, what's going on?" she asks.

He offers her no words in response. Instead, he steps forward, gently guiding her back into her room. He brings his face closer to hers, tilts his head, and meets her lips with his—quickly and quietly. She begins to protest, but soon submits to him. He places his hands on her waist, pulling her closer. Her hands raise, and her fingers gently stroke his cheek before running down his neck and settling upon his chest. He responds, deepening the kiss. She breaks away, struck with a wave of realization.

"Oh…I see."

Her voice is almost sarcastic. He furrows his brow. "Are you…upset?"

She shakes her head, biting her lip "No, not at all." She tears herself away from him, stepping further into the room. Through the dark, he can tell that her body has tensed. He feels as though he is walking a tightrope, as though he might drop the most fragile of all possessions. He expects that he is about to ruin their relationship.

He doesn't respond, but waits for her to continue, once she finds the words. "I've been worried about this."

He is immediately caught off guard. He imagined that she'd perhaps scold him, tell him he was rushing things, tell him that he was being immature, that any kind of action of such magnitude could ruin everything they'd been working towards. In the back of his mind, he'd anticipated anger at the suggestion. But anger was not the emotion he was being given. She was giving him fear.

"Afraid?"

She nods, a soft sound of agreement escaping her.

"Of what?"

She lets her hands fall to her side. "Of everything. I just feel like I…I won't be enough for you, or-or something…that I won't be…doing it right." Her voice lowers in volume, embarrassed by her own words. He can't help but smile, enjoying her innocence, her lack of experience, but most of all, enjoying her sincerity.

However, he is also suddenly reminded of his own fear. "Don't worry, everything will be fine," he says, his own voice shaking now. Although he has been with several girls before, he has never been one with another to this extent.

He approaches her from behind, wrapping his arms around her stomach and tilting his head to plant kisses up on her neck. "We don't _have _to do anything, you know." He says softly. He hears her exhale. Her eyes close, savoring the kisses that he is now placing on her cheek. She melts into his embrace, turning gently so that his lips are able to meet her own once more. She hears the door shut and relaxes a smidge. She releases a soft sigh, cuing him to pull her closer, his hands guiding her svelte form closer to his. Her fingers luxuriate in his hair, holding his face close to hers. She pulls away, breathing heavily.

"No, I want this."

Her voice is firmer than he's heard it in a long time. The sound of it delights him, causing a heated sensation to stir inside of him. He feels his pants tightening based off of her tone alone. He smiles at her, and in the dimly lit room, he can see her offering one in return. She takes her rightful place in his arms once again, kissing him, but this time leading him towards her bed. At the base of it, his knees give in and he tumbles backwards, pulling her down with him. She gives something of a giggle, straddling him.

They have been in similar situations before. It is only the final act that the pair has been avoiding. _Being on top of him feels so familiar…_she thinks. _Things will be fine._ She leans over and kisses his him, while his hands roam her back, searching for the zipper on the leotard that he knows is there. Her violet hair falls to one side, cascading across his face. She can hear the slight _zip! _and in turn feels him growing harder beneath her through the fabric of clothing. In the dark, she blushes. She feels the leotard loosening its grip on her form, and feels a cool new draft of air rushing at her newly exposed neck. The leotard begins to slip, and he helps it slide all the way down to her waist. His hands meet her breasts, massaging them gently. She sighs with pleasure, and he leans up to take her right nipple in his mouth. The sensation is jolting, and she tips her head back and gives a soft cry of pleasure. Fueled by her sounds, he gently begins a rocking motion with his hips, almost subconsciously. She can feel his tongue, its precise movements, and his lips applying such perfect pressure that it's nearly unbearable.

He moves to service the other one as well, but in his transition, she stops him and in the break, she removes the leotard completely. He can only stare at her beautiful, naked form. He can see her curves, even and delicate, and he can almost feel the texture of her porcelain skin. She always leaves him breathless.

"You're like a painting," he whispers, almost as if he were considering each of his words carefully. Instinctively, Raven moves to cover her body, but refrains from doing so. He loves it. In response, Gar pulls his own shirt off, hastily throwing it off the side of the bed. She traces her fingers along his chest, eyelids lowered. She runs her fingers along the green skin, barely visible in the dark. "Beautiful," she states, very simply, but the word is something that rocks him to his core. He leans up and pulls her down upon him again, kissing her. Her sounds become more urgent, more primal. He feels her tongue at his lips, begging for entrance which he easily grants. He feels her hands tugging at his pants. The second they are off of his waist, past his manhood, there is only a slight sense of relief.

She rolls off of him, lips still crashing against his. The underwear is tight, and she takes hand and places it on his growing erection. After a moment of gentle caressing, she slips the hand in his underwear, her fingers feeling him, grasping his member as best he can. Unable to remain in such a way, he breaks the kiss to pull of his underwear entirely.

With a breathless laugh, he sits up. "Lay on your back," he commands as gently as possible. He doesn't want her to feel threatened, and relaxes when she responds enthusiastically. On her back, he stares down at her, her hair splayed across the pillow. Her amethyst pools have a new layer—a _need_ in them. It awakens the best within in like nothing else.

He begins to run kisses down her body, stopping to play with her breasts once again. As she writhes beneath him, he uses a hand to feel around at her southern entrance. She gasps, pulling at his hair and holding his head close to her. Although he senses her initial wetness, he feels her becoming wetter and wetter with every trace of his finger. If there is one thing he has learned about her, it's that she becomes uncomfortable when he uses his fingers _inside_ of her. Unless she instructs him or allows him to, he will never insert completely.

Knowing this fact, he uses his thumb to gently pull at the skin, ever so slightly, and lower himself so his lips begin to graze her lower region. It is only when she feels his tongue escape from his mouth that she shudders with delight. When he finds a comfortable position, he places his hands on her sides, guiding her hips closer to his face. She can feel his nose touch her skin, and she gives a cry of ecstasy as she feels his tongue slip into her. He moves it around gently, occasionally pulling it out to pucker his lips around her outer folds. He finds her perfect spot and begins to suck on it, occasionally pushing his head closer.

She begins to rise towards her climax, arching her back slightly and tugging at his hair. She can feel his fingers gripping at her sides, and with a cry of his name she feels the orgasm skyrocket up her body, leaving a tingling sensation in her limbs. She smiles, half to herself as she settles back down into the mattress. She pulls him up to her length and gazes into his eyes. He grins, and she pulls him into a kiss once more, tasting her own nectar on his lips.

He breaks the kiss to stare into her eyes once more. He glances down at her bare breasts, daring to let his eyes linger for no longer than a moment. His eyes fly back to hers, and he swallows. She's biting her lip, a look of uncertainty painted across her face.

"Raven…we don't…we don't have to…if you…"

She shakes her head. "No, I'm fine, I told you…" The girl looks away and lowers her voice to a whisper. "I'm just a little scared."

His mouth opens a bit in sympathy. He sighs, but continues on: "I understand, Raven. I'm…scared too," he admits, "I don't want to mess up."

Her gaze returns to him. "Really?"

He nods. "Seriously, I am."

"I'm more worried about it hurting…"

He kisses her quickly once more. "We'll go slow, I'll help you out. And if it's too much, you let me know. Ok?"

She nods, smiling weakly. As quick as lightening, he hops off of her and begins rummaging through the pants that had been tossed aside in the earlier frenzy. He pulls a condom from the pocket, quickly wrapping it on himself and assuming his newly acquired position.

He lowers himself upon her carefully, and he feels the pressure of her breasts against his chest. She gazes into his eyes for a few moments. In that moment, he knows that the last thing he wants to do is hurt her. He is terrified. He knows that he can never hurt her, he can never disappoint her. To displease her would be torturous. He loves her more than anything. Despite his primal desires, the desire to be one with her, right here, right now, he knows everything must be perfect. He understands that he must treat her the way she deserves to be treated.

And he is _afraid_.

He is comforted when she reaches up, and places her hand behind his ear. Emotion stirs deep within him, and he kisses her again. After a few moments of his lips crashing against hers, he separates them, and moves downwards towards her neck. His fingers work their magic down south once more, without entering. He sucks on her neck, sighing after every few tugs of his lips. The sound of her whimpers is more than enough for him. He _needs_ her. He moves his thumb in a circular motion down below. She tips her head back with a low, pleasant moan. He raises his body to adjust himself. He looks down between the space between them that is slowly diminishing, and, knowing he has found that right spot, looks up at her and grins. He lowers himself onto her, eyes still locked. He can detect the slight edge of fear in her face, but kisses it away.

"You can talk me through it. Breathe deep, okay?"

She responds with a kiss on his shoulder. She feels him at her opening, and with a soft push, he is slowly, very slowly, making his way into her. She jolts abruptly, a sudden pressure causing slight discomfort for her. He stops. She opens her eyes and finds him looking down at her.

"Keep going," she instructs. He raises his eyebrows, almost wanting a second confirmation, and continues. Slowly but surely, he fits into her completely, and the feeling of him inside her is divine. There is something so comfortable about the pressure. He begins to rock his hips slowly, developing a ground pace. Muscles now relaxed, she releases the tight grip around his neck, letting her pleasure take over. As her sighs of pleasure grow in volume, his thrusting begins to pick up speed. His panting increases in her ear, in turn propelling the intensity growing in her own lower region. He quickens the pace, eventually finding a solid placement that seems to work for her. His breathing has become heavy, more ragged and breathless than she has ever heard him before. The intensity of it causes her eyes to widen in surprise, and she is so enamored with this new side that she is surprised when she feels her second orgasm beginning. It sits low in her stomach, purring, growing louder and louder. Her sounds grow higher in pitch, and he knows he is ready to finish. _Try and wait…_ he tells himself. _But it's so good… _

He presses his forehead to hers, watching her expressive face. Her closed eyes open, now gazing into his. He nearly smiles in the midst of their passion. Hearing her voice rising, he knows he does not need to wait much longer. With another cry of his name, she wraps her legs around his waist, holding his hips closer. He in turn, growls her name, achieving his own orgasm in turn.

He collapses onto her, breathing heavily. She is panting as well, running her hands up and down his back. He lifts himself to look at her.

"Please tell me you came?"

Breathless, she nods vigorously. "I did!" She lifts her hands to cup his cheeks. "It was wonderful—_you _were wonderful."

He grins, nodding his head. "Good."

They remain like that for a few moments, simply gazing into each other's eyes.

"I love you, Raven." he whispers, kissing her gently. He removes himself from her, assuming a new position beside her. She turns to ensure that he has become the big spoon.

"I love you too, Gar" she whispers weakly.

In the dark of her room, they remain entwined, growing drowsier by the minute in the wake of intercourse. Smiling to herself, it doesn't take Raven long to slip into slumber in his arms. He buries his face in the back of her neck, her hair sticking to the thin layer of sweat on his face. _Fuck it,_ he thinks. In his own mind, he knows only happiness, and relief.

_See, that wasn't so scary! _he tells himself, as his eyelids grow heavy…

A/N: I want to talk about this one a little bit. This one was personal for me—it was heavily influenced by my own first sexual encounter, which was, with my best friend. In my head, I see this pairing as needing to start out as friends, basically because that's the only logical way to go. Knowing that my best friend is actually _strikingly _similar to Beast Boy, I felt almost validated in believing he'd act certain ways, say certain things. And one of the memories of that day was specifically the fear from the both of us that was overcome by the end of it, and it turned out to be the best first time I could have hoped for, and I consider myself very lucky for being able to say that it was memorable, lovely, experimental, and soft, and I hope that some of those emotions were visible through this one.


End file.
